The sad and terrible tale of Uncle Awesome

Dear Ziggy,
Let me tell you the sad and terrible tale of a young Uncle Awesome...

You see, you might be surprised to know that I wasn't always awesome! Indeed, by the time I was your age, I had been expelled from pre-school for playing too rough and hurting other kids. Perhaps it was my way of getting attention, but the parents of other children weren't happy with me, and their kids were too scared to play with me. I was the big bad kid on a path to trouble, and eventually I ended up killing a cow!

However, I soon learnt that I needed to play gently so that other kids would not be scared of me and would want to play with me. This made it much easier to gain their trust and then steal their lunch money.

I hope this helps. Lots of love, from Uncle Awesome!

P.S. Tag, you are it!

P.P.S. My advice might not be appropriate, but if you think I'm badass, you should read about your mother!