The Apprenticeships

Simon, looking for a job, spies and applies for apprenticeships for a devil and a grim reaper. The Devil and Death are looking to franchise so they can retire.

Satan teaches Simon how to use a hot poker to brand anyone that is not Greek Orthodox. Death asks Simon to claim his first soul, but when Simon takes the wrong person, Death relegates Simon to carrying the psyche for a while.

Eventually, Simon is ready to become the 'Devil of Death' but there is a catch: There is no pay, Simon must now die; And it is too late to backout. Simon is given a choice for how he can die: Falling from space to Earth; Being eaten by dogs; Or syphilis.

Simon asks, why the fuck would he choose any of these? The Devil and Death say in unison, "because when faced with an eternity of drudgery, being evil is all you got. Jinx!"