Terry the cheap-ass tooth fairy

Dear Child,
Last night while you were sleeping, I came and took ya tooth but not the tooth that you intended: Instead I took your new flashy front teeth to pimp out me gob!

You see there are times I take the wrong tooth and times I take several, for Terry be my name and tooth fairy be me game but I'm no average fack'n fairy.

I don't like milk and I don't like carrots or cookies but I is plenty partial, to Fire-Bomb Cinamon Schnapps.

So if ya cheap-ass ma, Emily, wants my kinda trouble: she'll pull ya teeth out with some string and posts ya pain on socials; then she'll scheme to skimp a costly precedent and only leave two lousy dollars. That is how you'll know, Terry the tooth fairy is come to collect!


P.S. According to the reputable federation of international fairies (IF), the current market rate for all good fairy represented children, is $50 per tooth. Just say'n!



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