Terry the tooth fairy

Dear Matilda, Last night while you were sleeping, I came and took ya tooth but not the tooth intended. Instead I took your two flashy front incisors to pimp out me gob! You see there are times I take the wrong tooth and times I take several, for Terry be my name and tooth fairy be me game but I'm not your fack'n fairy.

I don't like milk and I don't do carrots or cookies but I is plenty partial to Fire-Bomb Cinamon Schnapps.

So if ya cheap-ass ma and pa, want my kinda trouble: they'll pull ya teeth out with string, tie them to a NERF gun dart and posts ya pain on socials; then scheme to skimp a precedent and "forget" ya lousy dollar. They may even wants that dollar back for milkshake money. This is how ya know, Terry is come to collect!


P.S. According to the reputable federation of International Fairies (IF), the current market rate for all good fairy represented children, is $50 per tooth. Just say'n!

P.P.S. According to 'IF', fair tooth compensation policy states: Beneficiaries can't be asked to use their funds as milkshake money. However, if parents are short of funds, they can request to borrow tooth fairy funds at an interest rate of 10% per day for generous parents and 20% per day for cheap-ass others.

P.P.P.S. If aforementioned perps forget the tooth money, they may remember to "find" it later in another location. Also, if the tooth is not taken by the tooth fairy, said fairy should return the next night with more money (10% interest).

P.P.P.P.S. Don"t fuck with IF!



Sympathy for devil, Rolling Stones 1968

Some say the devil is dead



Tooth Fairy (Wikipedia)