Perplexion Library

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MEANDERINGS

When did I get old and when did I die...

When we are dead, from our perspective, this world may as well never have existed.

The world that is until it is the world that was.

In the beginning there was nothing, then from the darkness came the light. And like a Faustian bargain, you cannibalize life to live until your life is taken.

Call out and we will hear you, call out and we will come, so sleep sweetly and dream deeply and in your dreams live the life we can't. Now close your eyes and walk the hall to wonderland, for there we can anything and that's where we'll be waiting in that place of dreams for me and you.

I've long sought to know my fate and see the great beyond but only the dead transcend destiny's end.

The weakness in me I fear to see... There are things I've done, mistakes I've made and crimes I've committed for which I am sorry. I have my demon's haunt and my conscience's taunts. I hear the voices in my head and I hear your whispers too. I like myself more without you.

Do we all get to a point in life when we say fuck it all, humanity is not worth it. I just don't think humans should survive?

The sun will glow, the wind will blow, the rivers will flow and the trees will grow.

Once you're dead, the world no longer exists for you. The world no longer matters to the dead and it might as well not exist. In mind of this, does it matter while we are alive?

Fuck it all, for it does not matter. It has never mattered, but it is a laugh, it is a lark, and the food ain't bad, indeed it's good.

In the immensity of time and space, the world we know will come and go leaving little trace of our place.

Hedonism has diminishing returns.

Without hope. I navel-gaze at my first world problems still wanting to belong.

Where once there was God, now we have an appreciation that we are alone and all we've got is one another. But at least we have each other, and by this bond perhaps we might find God in family?

Perhaps the biggest problem with people, is our need to be/feel loved. To be the brightest, or to show dirt on others so that we feel more worthy to the tribe. To play the game of who the fuck are you? If we could get past this?

Only a fool thinks he can solve the worlds problems. But you've got to try don't you? Or at least act local and improve what you can?

Out there on the edge, on the precipice of oblivion, beyond the realm of life's snow dome, I watch the trinket dangle, the sun god holds our blue bauble and the fate that waits. A carrot to the donkey from the playful puppeteer. At the end of my discourse, I died but did not know it...

We live because it's in our nature to keep living, and we look for meaning because it's in our nature to want to be more than our nature.

Before we die we are now alive, so accept your fate and live, let us really live for every breath taken is an extra moment we have stolen from death. There’s plenty time to die but not so much to live, so live now and die later. Live now because we don't know what tomorrow brings, and not living is to deny our nature.

Life is not for keeps and death is but the price to pay for borrowed time when we never had for more. Encoded is your use by date to procreate and die, because evolution needs this space for future generations. We live, we die and we know not why. But the evolution of life is why. The meaning is what you make it and each must find their own.

Life's turnstile has always been peculiar.

We live, we die and we know not why... Our's not to reason why, our's but to do and die. Blindfolded we walk through the garden. Into the valley of death and onward to oblivion... But before we die first we live. Let us live, let us really live.

Is the desire for life meaning part of a misplaced primal survival instinct to belong to a tribe stronger than oneself?

Perhaps life exists because it was inevitable: sooner or later, some time, some where and some how, life was inevitable, so why not now.

The meaning is whatever stimulates Dopamine and all your body's natural "reward" hormones?

If life were a train window, we should not be concerned with the length of the journey or the dangers of looking out, instead we should not miss out.

I remember you. In a dream I dreamt of you. I remember you standing on the edge of oblivion. Between the sheets of birth and death, I dreamt the dream of me and you. I dreamt of life a lot. I use to dream and now do not. But I still remember you. I remember you.

I remember you standing there on the edge of oblivion. I remember you walking the walk and talking the talk. I remember you talking until the end of ends. The end of days, the end of time, the end of life and the ends of beyond. I remember you.

Life is somewhat like a Faustian bargain: Against probability we are born, we live and then our lives are taken. Hell being the state without God.

Nihilism: The rejection of all religious and moral principles, in the belief that life is meaningless.

Hedonism: The pursuit of pleasure and self indulgence as the highest aim in life.

Anhedonia: Inability to feel pleasure in normally pleasurable activities.

Religion: Beliefs and culture that shield individuals from the meaninglessness of life.

Death: Freedom from the endless arguement.

Timescale: Draw a long line and place a dot in the middle: the dot represents a time span for the evolution of cellular life in our solar system, while the line represents the eternity before and after. All life is bookended by eternity. Even the big bang is predated by eternity.

The Now: The night is crisp, people walk by like ghosts all consumed with the present. They look real, they look alive, but they are dead, they just don't know it yet. We are all dead. The sound and lights of this city...

Immortal: Oblivion is coming. So try not to worry about life's tribulations. Life is but a heartbeat compared to the infinite nothingness. Our lives are short, but death is forever. Only in death are we eternal. Only death is immortal.

The Moment: Some moments of pain feel so raw they might consume our world. But this feeling is fleeting. It is a drop of water in an ocean. One tangible connection of life that will soon be forgotten in eternal nothingness.

Fuck it, it dont matter to me. Life is a snowdome, until you die. And then there's nothing. I just want to sleep.

 

MUSIC

Gayane ballet, Aram Khachaturian 1939

Atmosphères, György Ligeti 1961

Lux Aeterna, Clint Mansell 2000

No longer there, Cat Empire 2007

Beethoven's Silence, Ernesto Cortazar 2009

Zombie, The Cranberries 1994

Les Miserables: Freeing Javert

Romper Stomper

Romper Stomper Theme 1992

Paint it, black. Rolling Stones 1966

The Living Years, Mike & The Mechanics 1988

Cats In The Cradle, Harry Chapin 1974

MMM MMM MMM, Crash Test Dummies 1993 (YouTube)

Mr Jones, Counting Crows 1993 (YouTube)

White rabbit, Jefferson Airplane 1967

Rant from 25th Hour movie, 2002

Hurdy gurdy man, Donovan 1968

We didn't start the fire. Music by Billy Joel 1989

Did You Know Him? Music by Michael Andrews 2000

Greensleeves. Music English folk song c.1580

Moonlight sonata, Beethoven 1801

This is your life, Fight Club 1999

Killing in the name, RATM 1991

Romper Stomper Theme, John Clifford White 1995

Danse Macabre, Camille Saint-Saëns 1874

Everybody knows, Leonard Cohen 1988

Superman's Song, Crash Test Dummies 1991

MMM MMM MMM MMM, Crash Test Dummies 1993

Not Dark Yet, Bob Dylan 1997

Things Have Changed, Bob Dylan 2006

Carmina burana, Carl Orff 1936

Creep, Song by Radiohead 1993

Choose life. Theme music for Trainspotting Film 1996

This Is Your Life. Theme music for Fight Club Film 1999

Rant from The 25th Hour. Film Extract 2002

Also sprach Zarathustra Op. 30, Richard Strauss 1896

White Rabbit, Jefferson Airplane 1967 song

Mad world, Tears for Fears 1982

Forrest Gump Soundtrack, Alan Silvestri 1994

Did you know him? Michael Andrews 2002

Fargo S01: "A rich man who gave everything"

Bach Prelude 1 in C Major BWV 846, c. 1722

Solveig's Song, Edvard Grieg 1875

Where is my mind, Pixies 1988

Autumn Leaves, Eva Cassidy 1996

Blade Runner 1982 - 'Roy Batty meets Dr. Tyrell' scene

Blade Runner 1982 - 'Tears in rain' scene

Vanessa Redgrave's 'Ambivalence' scene from 'Girl, Interrupted' 1999

 

REFERENCE LINKS

M. C. Esher, 1898–1972

Donnie Darko, film 2001

Postmodernism

Fight Club, 1999 film

The Mission, 1986 film

Falling Down, 1993 film

Where the Dead Men Lie, Barcroft Boake 1891

Jerilderie Letter, Ned Kelly 1879

Self portrait, Vincent van Gogh 1889

Brett Whiteley 1939-92.

Donnie Darko, 2001

Die Brucke 1905-13

Self portraits, Vincent van Gogh 1853–1890

Fight Club, film 1999

Lord of the Flies, film 1990

German Expressionism

The Matrix, 1999 film

Do not go gentle into that good night, Dylan Thomas 1951 (poem)

The Cube, 1997

The Platform, 2019

X-Files - I Want To Believe, Poster 1992

Carrot and stick.

X-Files - I Want To Believe, Poster 1992

Carrot and stick

Michael Leunig cartoons

Australian Jesus, Reg Mombassa

Michael Leunig cartoons

Mad Magazine cartoons

Sword of Damocles

German Expressionism

The Matrix, 1999 film

The Game, 1997 film

The Cube, 1997 film

Sisyphus, Greek mythology

Self portraits, Brett Whiteley 1939-92

Platoon, film 1986

Solomon Grundy, nursery rhyme (Wikipedia)

Monday's Child, nursery rhyme (Wikipedia)

The Picture of Dorian Gray (Wikipedia)

Narcissus myth (Wikipedia)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 

URI

www.judas1.com/deconstructed

www.judas1.com/headlights

judas1.com/never

judas1.com/what

judas1.com/woe