Where is my Dad?

31 May 1949 - 27 March 2023

As I survey this new land of shifting sand I ask: where is my guiding monolith? My El Capitan; my Eiger; my Everest and Elbrus; my reassuring rock of ages; my steadfast and stubborn stone. Where is my Dad? Where is our Papa, our Nick?

Time takes all things, but the moments we share will always have been. We carry these memories with us and there my Dad lives on. So I won't say goodbye but I will say, thank you, Dad.

Thank you, for your fire and fight within; your loyalty and laughter; your steely stubborn strength; and your reassuring council.

I will miss your conversation with all and any, at the Cossies Cafe on Crown. I will even miss your jokes and your formal jeans and sandles.

So for all thank yous said and unsaid, and for all you'd generously do, Dad, Doctor, Nick and Papa, we remember you.

The disappeared

Here we bury Papa, but in the silence I ask myself, where have the old men gone? Are they at a pub somewhere? I know Dad is there for I can hear him, telling tall tales to Bruce and Tom. They watch and cheer together, as the Wallabies reschool New Zealand. My Dad is even called upon to convert the final try. With strong young legs and red medieval locks of hair, my Dad wins that test match. He wins it again and again, and again, and again. Yes, that is where my father's gone, and there he waits with beer and chair for us all. So you see, my father is not buried here.

This tree is like a WiFi router but not the only one, for we carry Dad's memory with us and it's strong when we're together. His memory is a binding glue that can make us strong together. So you see, my father is not buried here, he lives on in everyone.

The silence

The sound of passing cars, like ocean waves on shore, the pitter patter of puppy paws up the hall, while my dog snores. Children play and magpie sings, as the old steam train whistles on its way. This is some of what I hear. But mostly I hear a silence that my father used to fill, as I listen for sounds that are missing and a laughter that was once.